I’m concerned that I might end up losing my driver’s license, all due to an encounter with a rather unreasonable police officer. This is how the interaction unfolded when I was pulled over while driving:
Officer: “Kindly provide me with your license and registration. It appears you might be under the influence.”
Me: “I want to assure you that I haven’t consumed any alcohol.”
Officer: “Very well, let’s conduct a brief assessment. Imagine you’re driving along a dark highway at night, and you spot two lights in the distance. What would you identify them as?”
Me: “That would be the headlights of an approaching vehicle.”
Officer: “Correct! However, can you determine the make? Is it a Mercedes, Audi, or Ford?”
Me: “I’m unable to discern that.”
Officer: “Ah, seems like a sign of impairment.”
Me: “Yet, I haven’t had anything to drink.”
Officer: “Now, for another test — picture yourself driving on a dimly lit highway at night with a solitary light approaching you. What do you reckon that is?”
Me: “That would likely be a motorcycle.”
Officer: “Exactly! But can you specify the brand? Is it a Honda, Kawasaki, or Harley?”
Me: “I’m afraid I can’t determine that.”
Officer: “My suspicions are growing. It appears you might be intoxicated.”
As my frustration grew, I decided to pose a counter question…
Me: “Allow me to ask you a counter question — you’re driving along a dark highway at night and notice a woman standing by the roadside.”
She’s wearing a miniskirt, fishnet stockings, heels and only a bra for a top. What is she?”
Officer: “A prostitute, of course.”
Me: “Yes, but which one? Your daughter, your wife or your mother?”
Things escalated from there and now I have to go to court….