Her Response:
Dear Ex-Husband,
Nothing brightened my day more than receiving your letter.
It’s true that you and I have been married for 7 years, even though being a good man is quite far from what you’ve been.
I did notice you had a new haircut last week, but the first thought that came to my mind was, “You look like a girl!” And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have confused me with my sister, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago.
As for those silk boxers: I turned away from you because the price tag of $49.99 was still on them, and I prayed it was a coincidence as my sister had borrowed that exact amount from me that morning.
Despite all this, I still loved you and felt that we could work things out. So when I won the $10 million lottery, I quit my job and bought two tickets to Jamaica, but when I came home, you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I suppose.
I hope you’re living the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer has stated that the letter you wrote assures me you don’t want a dime from me. So take care of yourself.
Signed, your ex-wife, rich as Croesus and free…
PS: I don’t know if I ever mentioned this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not an issue!!!